I hate you.
There. I said it. And I feel much better for it.
I don't hate you because you have name brand jeans available for $6.60 or instant coffee for $0.55. And your orange juice seems to be quite a bargain. Really. You are truly doing a great job with your prices.
No, I hate you for another reason and I know this is going to be hard for you to hear. Honestly, I need some space. I think we need to spend a little time apart. I would say that it's not you but, well, it is you. You're smothering me and I need out. My spam filter would like to see a little less of you as well.
50% of my spam mail comes from you. For your own sake, you need to branch out. Go find some other vicitims. There are other phish in the sea besides me. So go. Hold your head up high. Go find someone who will give you the time, attention and orders that you so desperately crave. Just be sure and take me off your list before I file a digital restraining order.
~ Lefty
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